February 17, 2004

What I've Learned So Far

General, Original Series
Having watched and summarized 100 episodes of Law & Order since December 23, I have learned the following things:
    1. Hudson University is a very dangerous place.
    2. There's no such thing as a happily-married rich couple.
    3. You could be saying anything when you unexpectedly discover a dead body in the alley/park/garage, but you'll probably be complaining about your wife or your boyfriend.
    4. Sulky kids kill people, but nobody suspects them until everyone else in their family has been falsely accused.
    5. There's no mystery on the street, no arch-criminal behind it all. If you got a dead guy and you think his brother did it, you're going to find out you're right. Usually.
    6. Having a big family meeting in the DA's conference room always leads to emotional, but tidy, confessions.
    7. The perfect musical accompaniment for such confessions is synthesized string music.
    8. There are two Asian people on the island of Manhattan, and they both appear in an episode named after a Japanese movie.
    9. When Jack McCoy offers you a plea bargain, take it.
    10. I still can't decide which Asst. District Attorney I love most, but I know I like Olivet more than Skoda.
    11. "My son would never do something like that."
    12. DA Schiff (the old guy) has an uncontrollable cheek-sucking tic that gets exacerbated by seemingly hopeless cases.
    13. Lawyers become paralytic deaf mutes when their clients start confessing, but only when it's during the last 5 minutes of the episode.
    14. Angie Harmon's eye makeup gets darker as the episode continues.
    15. It's okay to talk with your mouth full, especially when the food involves chopsticks.
    16. Lots of apparently unrelated people in the world of Law & Order look identical to each other, but no one seems to notice.
    17. "Fruit of the poisonous tree" is the best defense there is.
    18. When a suspect runs, you only have to chase him for 5 seconds before catching him, especially if you are Det. Ed Green and have patented the Ed Green Five-Second Foot Chase™.
    19. McCoy and Claire Kincaid were definitely having an affair.
    20. I like the old ones better.

Posted by adm at February 17, 2004 12:31 AM

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